Societal Shifts and Their Effect on Charitable Giving

One of modern society’s most significant challenges is the utmost focus on the self. Me, Myself. and I. Being concerned with oneself is part of the human condition, but the situation has worsened in the 21st century with the convenience of technology. People refer to themselves as “Influencers” or by their personal “Brand,” and increasingly, by their preferred personal pronoun(s). And we have the capability to promote this individuality not just to families and friends but to global audiences via social media. This has changed dramatically how we focus our time and efforts and incentivized us to ignore others.

I work with nonprofit organizations as a digital marketing consultant. I am worried this trend will indirectly hurt some of society’s most vulnerable people and the organizations trying to help them.

Self Centeredness

Charitable Giving — Good News / Bad New

Total USA charitable giving reached $484 billion in 2021, an increase vs. the prior year and a record high. While the total dollar amount increased, the percentage of Americans donating declined from 65% to 56%, and 44% did not donate. This decline may be related to inflation, and some have even cited growing income inequality as a contributor.

While these could be important factors, three drivers are facilitating the decline in giving. They are the shift to focusing on personality over character, the hyper-segmentation of society, and modern distractions.

Focus on Personality over Character

This phenomenon of focusing on the self is not new. In the seminal work, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the late Stephen R. Covey, Ph.D. noted that the literature of the last two centuries had centered the idea of success around profound principles:

“…almost all literature in the last 150 years or so focused on what could be called the “Character Ethic” as the foundation for success — things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule.”

Covey goes on to mention, however, that literature, beginning in the early first half of the 20th century, began to shift its focus:

“But shortly after World War I [1914–1918], the basic view of success shifted from the Character Ethic to what we might call the Personality Ethic. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the process of human interaction.”

Covey published these observations in 1990 — years before the founding of the first social network (Facebook) and the others that followed, e.g., Twitter, TikTok, etc.

Little did we know that the “Personality Ethic” was the genesis of a much more fundamental societal shift. This shift has collectively led individuals to position themselves as “brands” or “influencers.” Technology facilitates the explosion of individuals constantly sharing details about themselves. Millennials and Gen Z have taken this fad much further by creating unique video entertainment that showcases their “talents.”

I will cover this phenomenon shortly, but the trend is clear — we want to share our lives ad nauseam.

Hyper-Segmentation of Society

Arguably, the most profound shift in self-centeredness and self-absorption is the hyper-segmentation of the simple pronoun and, by association, society. Hyper Segmentation is defined as the practice of breaking down populations to a very granular level.

Here are some pronouns individuals can choose:

Gender-Neutral Pronouns

• He/She — Zie, Sie, Ey, Ve, Tey, E

• Him/Her — Zim, Sie, Em, Ver, Ter, Em

• His/Her — Zir, Hir, Eir, Vis, Tem, Eir

• His/Hers — Zis, Hirs, Eirs, Vers, Ters, Eirs

• Himself/Herself — Zieself, Hirself, Eirself, Verself, Terself, Emself
  

While the strength of healthy cultures is that they can develop sub-cultures, we should assess the impact of this level of self-identification on the individual and those around them. In analyzing social media, there are many videos (especially on TikTok) of individuals sharing their preferred pronouns and how they want to make sure people refer to them appropriately. That takes a lot of energy on all sides.

I worry this trend of segmenting into smaller groups will lead to a much greater focus on the self and a decline in the concern and respect for the collective. This is particularly challenging, given the number of on-demand distractions at our disposal.

Modern Distractions

We are a preoccupied and inattentive society, engrossed in our mobile devices, laptops, PlayStations, and Xboxes. How much time are we spending on these devices? The numbers are eye-watering. Here are a few examples:

On-Demand Entertainment	Average Amount of Time Spent on Each Day	Average Amount of Time Each Month (assumes 30-day avg.)
TikTok	Users spend 95 minutes each day on TikTok	47.5 hours/month
YouTube	Users spend 46 minutes each day on YouTube	23.1 hours/month
All Social Media	Users spend 2 hours and 27 minutes each day on social media	73.5 hours/month
Video Games	Users spend 55 minutes each day gaming	27.5 hours/month
TV	Viewers spend 4.6 hours each day on TV	138 hours/month

We have not known this level of personal distraction in human history. Technology enables us to access content 24/7/365 from anywhere in the world. What is the cumulative impact of all this?

The Collective Impact of These Developments

Look around — everywhere one goes, people are glued to their mobile devices, e.g., while waiting in line at any store, walking down the street, riding the subways and busses, when people are at a restaurant (does anyone talk anymore while eating?). Both Millennials and Gen Z listed “Technology over-dependence / addiction problem” as a top concern. We are in constant escape mode.

There is nothing inherently wrong with any of this — technology and social media have given us a new way to connect with literally anyone in the world. However, since the iPhone launched in 2007, we have had a distraction that no one could have seen coming or that this “distraction” would account for 3 hours and 45 minutes of our day.

The question, I believe, is, what are we not “seeing” when we’re too focused on making sure someone uses our preferred personal pronouns, or we’re glued to screens:

Americans are Less Happy

• Since 2000, the percentage of Americans saying they are “not too happy” has risen from 10% to 24%.

• Meanwhile, the percentage saying they are “very happy” has fallen from 34% to 19%.
  

Teenage Suicide Rates are Soaring

• 22% of high school students in a recent 2023 survey said that they had seriously considered suicide within the past year, up from 16% in 2011.
  

34 million people are Food Insecure

• 9 million of the above number are children
  

52 million Elderly, of whom:

• 5 million are abused (physically, emotionally, and psychologically)

• 8 million suffer from emotional distress (isolation, anxiety, dementia)
  

Given the magnitude of these challenges, one would think that people are aware of them and are providing resources to the organizations that address these problems. The reality, though, is somewhat mixed.

While all these issues can seem overwhelming, we cannot be discouraged. We must act. But to start addressing these problems, we need to be aware of them and have examples of how to help.

I believe that there has always been an innate hunger for something more authentic in our lives. Something that transcends materialism, wealth, the vast amount of our lives we’re wasting in front of screens, and the vitriolic nature of so much in our society.

Getting from Me to We

“Individualism is a mature and calm feeling which disposes each member of the community to sever himself from the mass of his fellows and to draw apart from his family and friends.”

Almost 200 years ago, Alexis de Tocqueville wrote those precinct words about his observations of American society. I worry that America’s extreme emphasis on self-promotion, especially on social media, is leading us to become more self-absorbed and self-centered. We are rewarded for doing so. We get an endorphin rush from likes, comments, and shares. Studies have shown that the long-term effects of social media include: inadequacy about your life or appearance, fear of missing out (FOMO), isolation, depression, anxiety, and self-absorption (which distances you from real-life connections).

America has serious problems that need ongoing support and resources to minimize their impact on those affected. Our democracy can only survive if we rise above ourselves to revert to our roots and think about the collective — the much larger collective. Homelessness, elder abuse, at-risk children, and hunger are not the owner of any single demographic. These are collective societal problems, yet we have forgotten that we must recognize the need for and be of service to others.

Here are a couple of options to reduce screen time so that you can help others:

Give to Charity

Donating (money, expertise) has a powerful impact on your life, including helping people in need, improving your community, inspiring others to help, reducing stress, becoming more grateful, feeling wealthier, and setting a clear, life-long example for your children. The number of people donating continues to decline, so one can leverage their social networks and “influence” to raise awareness of charitable needs.

Take Care of Others

The options for helping others is limitless: Ask your parents (no matter how old you are) how you can help them, e.g., clean the garage, fix something, or run an errand. Hold the door for others, e.g., women with strollers, the elderly, people of different races, religions, and even your peers. Thank people in the service industry, e.g., the person making your coffee at Starbucks or Dunkin. The mechanic servicing your car. Literally, ANY person working a cash register or taking an order.

Finally, talk to people and listen — really listen. Don’t just call your grandparent to ask for money or a favor. Ask how they are doing and listen — really listen — you demonstrate this by having follow-up questions. If you’re walking down a street and see an elderly person walking alone, say hello to them. Acknowledge their existence and worth. Say hello to the kid at school who eats alone or has no friends. People are lonely, and maybe you reach out at a time when they need it the most.

We have so many ways to help others if we make the time. All it takes is awareness and willingness to act. And don’t say you don’t have the time. Put the phone down, turn off the TV, give social media a rest, and witness firsthand how helping people with the most mundane things in life may mean the world to them.

Isn’t that a better use of our time?