Three Unique Life Rules Every Youth Should Know

As I traverse midlife, I reflect on things I wish I had known from a young age. These life rules would have made me a better person earlier instead of crystallizing later in life. This is not meant to be an exhaustive list, nor does it include the usual recommendations of exercising, eating healthy, contributing to your 401K, planning for healthcare in retirement, or helping your children develop into productive and good citizens.

Instead, these behaviors benefit us and those around us, including society. I am sharing these in the hope that you will consider implementing them (if you don’t already do — I may be the only one late to the game, so to speak) and sharing them with your children, regardless of their age.

01: Speech Has Consequences

Speech is one of the most potent tools the human race was given. It can bring comfort, encouragement, knowledge, wisdom, hope, laughter, and love, to name a few. It is also the most destructive weapon we have. How many personal or business relationships have been ruined by a sentence? Riots, pogroms, killings, lynchings, and divorces have had their roots in speech, whether a false accusation, misrepresentation, or misunderstanding.

Speech has always had consequences, but in the 21st century, where we spend an average of 73.5 hours a month on social media, the opportunity to express ourselves, constructively or destructively, can reach global audiences. No longer is a comment isolated to your home, work, or neighborhood.

With the attack on Israel on 07 October 2023, American college students rallied to protest Israel’s swift response. Some of these turned vitriolic, calling for the genocide of Jews, which caused a swift condemnation from the Jewish community but was met with a shrug of shoulders by university presidents who defended the genocide calls as “contextual free speech.”

While free speech is guaranteed under the US Constitution’s First Amendment, it doesn’t protect one from the consequences of their speech. For example, many Wall Street law and investment firms made a list of student protestors who supported the call for genocide and made it clear that these students could forget a lucrative career at their firm.

Another example is when applying for college or a job, one should be aware that any “public” social media accounts, blogs, comments, or videos can be accessed and reviewed by potential schools/employers to understand the candidate better. Be careful, therefore, with your written and spoken words —especially online — they can be traced for years and continue to have positive or negative impacts on your life.

Image Credit: The Baltimore Sun

02: Treat all Private and Public Property as your Own

Imagine a scenario in which every place you visit, whether the grocery store, a friend’s home, or the local park, you must leave that place in better condition than when you arrived. The following questions may arise: “How and why would I do that?” This idea came to me when I first saw a piece of litter in front of my building.

Years ago, I moved to one of the most population-dense cities in America. Consequently, spotting a piece of litter on the street is nothing unusual, but it is most unpleasant to the eye. It gives one a different view of a neighborhood — one where the property owners may not particularly care about how their property is portrayed, or that city services are lacking, or both. But who is responsible for picking up the litter? Obviously, the property owner is the first line of responsibility for private property, and local governments are responsible for public property. But are they the only ones?

I feel we should have a collective responsibility for our surroundings. If you see a piece of litter, pick it up. Picture how different our surroundings would look if everyone took such action. It is a mindset that doesn’t question whose “job” it is to do something but just takes the necessary action to rectify the issue. This obviously does not absolve property owners and municipalities from fulfilling their duties. But it doesn’t mean we are not responsible, either.

What about retail stores? How do we leave these better than when we entered? Two immediate opportunities come to mind. First, when walking down any store aisle, you may see an item that has fallen off the shelf and lying on the floor, which someone could step on, damaging the item and causing a loss for the store, or, worse, trip over it causing the person injury and damaging the product. According to the Food Management Industry, the average supermarket has 31,530 items. Some of those products will likely be on the floor throughout the day. Do your part — wouldn’t you want someone protecting your merchandise, store, and fellow shoppers if the opportunity presented itself?

If visiting someone’s home, ask if there are any projects you can help with. If the person is elderly, ask if any light bulbs need replacing or if a bulky item needs hauling to the trash or recycling center. Small actions, done daily, help us more clearly see the needs of others and also enlighten us as to how much more we can give of ourselves, even by changing a light bulb.

03: Everyone is Your Responsibility

Few would debate that we have become a more self-obsessed society and lost our ability to see the needs of others around us, much less do anything about it. We laugh about how everyone’s always looking at their screens and not talking much — it is a sad but truthful joke. However, what happens when we focus on others and see the potential to help them?

There was a terrific post by Steve Gatena, CEO of Pray.com, on LinkedIn this morning. He wrote about how he was driving and saw an older person with a walker who was hitchhiking. Curious, he pulled over to ask if the man needed anything. The 93-year-old said he needed a ride to a store 1.5 miles away to purchase thirty Hershey chocolate bars! Apparently, he and his wife split a chocolate bar every night. Steve took the gentleman to the store, where they purchased the stack of bars, then gave him a ride home, shared his business card, and told the man that he should call him whenever he needed chocolate. It is unknown if the gentleman’s longevity is due to eating Hershey’s chocolate daily. If a busy CEO can take the time to help a stranger purchase chocolate, what is our excuse for not helping one another?

Kara Kennedy, daughter of the late Edward (Ted) Kennedy, U.S. Senator from Massachusetts, was interviewed many years ago about her father. She spoke about his character and related the following story. When Senator Kennedy would stay at a hotel, he would always leave a tip for the housekeepers and write a personal note expressing his gratitude to them for caring for his room. Imagine the pleasant surprise of seeing not just a tip but an acknowledgment of the value you add to your work!

Inspired by Senator Kennedy’s example, when I stay at a hotel, I copy his example, but I also make sure I consolidate all trash in one bin, straighten the room up a bit, ensure no towels are on the floor, etc. Why? Think about the repetitive nature of the work — one less trash can to empty, less bending over to pick up towels, and other acts that make the housekeeper’s job a little easier. Some might say that is their job. Yes, it is. But what if that housekeeper was your mother? Your daughter? How would you want them treated?

Seeing the world through the lens of our obligations-whether in what we say or don’t say, showing “ownership” toward all public and private property, and understanding that potentially everyone we encounter is our responsiblity-sets a different tone. A tone that enhances the oneness of humanity, focuses less on the self, and helps everyone because it takes all of us to make society better and more civil. Let’s start teaching our youth these behaviors now so they have the potential for a lifetime of greater impact.

Related article: Bringing Back Civility: Your Role

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Michael Benedict published his first book, The Civil Society Playbook: A Commonsense Plan for a Return to Civility, in 2024. His career spans 25+ years in senior-level marketing positions at Fortune 1000 companies, tech startups, and marketing consultancies. His book covers areas of incivility that are not frequently discussed in the media. It offers solutions - actions - that anyone, regardless of age, can implement to improve civility in all aspects of society. He can be reached at michaelbbenedict@gmail.com. The book is available on Amazon, Apple Books, and Audible.